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Lesson 1
Descriptions Of The Journey Thus Far (pages 29-34)
Everet’s Story
(A story about Everet's birth and early childhood)
One day Everet woke up. He did not even know he had been asleep. He suddenly woke up
and found himself in a strange and mysterious world. There was just himself and this world
around him, made up of sounds, colors, and feelings.
After a while, he made a marvelous discovery. He was in, or maybe was or maybe had, a body.
This was very exciting though confusing. How do you use it or what is it? Of course, Everet
did not ask himself these questions, but the questions were there, nonetheless. He was amazed,
“Who knew that toes were good for sucking, that fingers could touch things or that being
hungry could hurt.”
As time moved on, and time is important in this story, Everet became aware that his body and
he lived in an even stranger world, a world of things out there, away from him. This is where
living became really fun and confusing. Everet spent his time exploring, and over time he
discovered that he could not only touch and taste things, he also could remember things. This
felt good, like when he saw his mother’s face he remembered that warm milk was on its way.
Remembering was helpful, because it enabled him to make sense out of all this new stuff.
Nevertheless, after a long while, remembering was not enough. Things were getting familiar,
but they were still very confusing. For instance, he discovered to his astonishment that he could
not do just anything, he wanted to. Everet was learning a powerful and painful lesson. He was
not the center of the universe. The most familiar thing in his world, his mother, had told him
"no." Everet did not understand what no meant until he felt the pain and then connected it with
no. This connection/association would prove to be one of the most profound experiences in his
young life. The association of "no" with pain was hard for him to accept and believe, but he had
to believe it. What other choice was there? Experience taught him to accept this powerful
association. The experience of the pain and the "no" were undeniably real and bonded together.
Everet had to accept that something outside of himself had power over him. It had power to
cause him pain. For Everet this was neither good nor bad; it was just the way things were. His
view of himself and the world, however, was changed forever. He now knew for certain that his
“I want” could be blocked by the world’s “no.”
More time went by. Everet was becoming more aware that everything was bigger, faster and
was happening to him. Everet was becoming a “big boy” and so, he wanted to make things
happen. Making things happen is difficult when you are three feet tall. Big people could tell
him what to do and what not to do. They could pick him up and move him where they wanted
him to be, even if Everet did not want them to. Everet could walk and run but there were
always limits on where and when. Everet could talk, but there were limits on where and when
for that too.
The world outside of Everet’s body was full of things he knew about. He knew daddy,
mommy, and the two dogs. Everet knew his room and when he was hungry. He knew a lot
about the things in his world, but he did not know "who he was in the world."
Everet was very confused. He knew the rules, such as do not throw supper on the floor, and do
not leave the yard. He also knew a foundational pattern in life. That pattern was cause and
effect. If he did this, then that would happen. If he pushed hard on the chair, it fell over and
daddy got mad. If he smiled at daddy, he got picked up and was given a hug.
Moment by moment and day by day, Everet was growing up. Yet, Everet could not figure out
how to stop the persistent confusion. He was Everet and there was the world outside of Everet.
That world was full of things and rules but the separation between him and world was always
there. Everet needed to discover "who he was in the world," if he was to overcome the strange
and persistent separation.
One day, maybe it was Tuesday when he was three or Wednesday when he was five,
Everet put all the pieces together. He had different pieces like himself and the outside world
made up of his parents, dogs, house, bedroom, and rules. He had been collecting these pieces
for a long time. But he was like a blind man trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together using only
touch. Suddenly in an eye opening flash all the pieces that would not fit in a pattern suddenly
did. Everett could not see the whole picture but he finally had the edge pieces and a sense
about what the picture looked like.
Everet, in an unconscious process of gathering all the information he knew about himself and
the world, came to a conclusion. This conclusion made sense to him and it explained
everything. He was, therefore, certain it was true. Everet was absolutely certain that “he was
not good enough.” He did not have to ask someone if it was true, it was self-evident. This
conclusion, that he was not good enough, really did explain how he related to the world. There
was Everet and there was the world and its rules. The edge pieces to the jigsaw puzzle that
would become Everet, now fit together. It would be many years before the entire picture would
be filled in. But eventually whoever he believed himself to be and to some degree, how he
looked was now firmly established. The picture that was Everett would be titled, "Everet is not
good enough." For now, Everett knew how to put the pieces together and he happily went
about the business of organizing his life.
He always had to pay attention to the rules and most of the time he got in trouble when he did
not obey them. Everet knew that when he did something right, mommy was happy; when he
did something wrong, mommy was not.
Everet had figured out a long time ago that he got in trouble for doing the things he wanted to.
There are the ever present rules and Everet, who experiences pain when he does not obey the
rules. His conclusion continued to make sense and feel true. It was self-evident and clear,
Everett was not acceptable to the world; or in his words, “I am not good enough.”
This conclusion felt wonderful to Everet. He now knew, how, "he belonged in the world." The
experience of separation was no longer there. There was the all-powerful world and there was
little Everet who was not good enough. Everet accepted this truth in the same way he accepted
the relationship between no and pain. What alternative did he have? There was no one else in
his mind but himself. This statement of identity was true, it felt certain, and it worked for him
because the confusion was gone. Truly, this was a remarkable day for Everet. The great
mystery of “Who is Everet” was solved.
Everet’s mommy and daddy would never know this day was special. They would never know
that on this day, their son became part of the human family.
If they could have known, they would have been horrified. They had been trying in every way
to teach their son that they loved and accepted him.
The world needs rules if the I that is me is to live successfully in the we that is the world. Rules
and traumas teach each of us that we, in some way, are not good enough, because it seems that
we are always at fault.
The irony is that, his Grandfather, me, the writer of this book, knows that Everet’s negative
conclusional statement of identify will happen and there is nothing that I, like his parents, can
do to stop it.
I know that my grandson will use his conclusional I-am statement to organize his perceptions of
the world and his place in the world. He will use his I-am statement as a foundation on which
he will build a network of beliefs that will support his perception.
This is neither good nor bad. It is necessary. It is how we all learn to live together in society.
Rules and limits are necessary if anyone is to have some measure of freedom and protection.
All I can do as his “Opa,” is to wait for him to grow up and then, when he is ready, teach him
how to get beyond his I-am statement and his network of beliefs. The greatest gift I can give my
grandson and you, the reader, is a process by which he and you can discover who you really are
and always have always been. In other words, the reality is that you exist and are acceptable.
Everet knew and experienced this truth before he encountered the word "no." You and he can
discover this self-evident truth by utilizing the process I teach in this book.
The process of raising a child and enabling him to achieve some measure of success and
happiness inevitably leads to a negative I-am statement. Children raised without rules will be
taught by the society at some point that there are rules that have to be obeyed. These lessons
learned later in life carry a great deal more pain and consequences than in childhood.
I do not believe that society is bad or evil. It just is what it is. Society is a network of rules and
people trying to live together successfully.
I do not believe, that what I perceive the world to be is real any more than I believe that my old I-
am statement is real.
The previous statement may sound strange to you, but this statement is a product of what I
teach. Each of you has a negative I-am statement. It is the foundation on which you have
created your life. Change your negative I-am statement to a positive statement of reality and
you will inevitability be happier and more content. For now you can be skeptical about the
truth of my assertion, but when you finished the book, you will know why I can make such a
strong statement.
Everet is currently ten months old. It will be many years before he is able or willing to
recognize that he views the world from a negative I-am statement. He has many developmental
stages to go through on his journey of awareness.
My assumption, for you, the reader, is that you are ready to explore and possibly take the next
step in the development of your awareness.
Thus, the next step of your journey begins.
Descriptions Of The Journey Thus Far (pages 29-34)
Everet’s Story
(A story about Everet's birth and early childhood)
One day Everet woke up. He did not even know he had been asleep. He suddenly woke up
and found himself in a strange and mysterious world. There was just himself and this world
around him, made up of sounds, colors, and feelings.
After a while, he made a marvelous discovery. He was in, or maybe was or maybe had, a body.
This was very exciting though confusing. How do you use it or what is it? Of course, Everet
did not ask himself these questions, but the questions were there, nonetheless. He was amazed,
“Who knew that toes were good for sucking, that fingers could touch things or that being
hungry could hurt.”
As time moved on, and time is important in this story, Everet became aware that his body and
he lived in an even stranger world, a world of things out there, away from him. This is where
living became really fun and confusing. Everet spent his time exploring, and over time he
discovered that he could not only touch and taste things, he also could remember things. This
felt good, like when he saw his mother’s face he remembered that warm milk was on its way.
Remembering was helpful, because it enabled him to make sense out of all this new stuff.
Nevertheless, after a long while, remembering was not enough. Things were getting familiar,
but they were still very confusing. For instance, he discovered to his astonishment that he could
not do just anything, he wanted to. Everet was learning a powerful and painful lesson. He was
not the center of the universe. The most familiar thing in his world, his mother, had told him
"no." Everet did not understand what no meant until he felt the pain and then connected it with
no. This connection/association would prove to be one of the most profound experiences in his
young life. The association of "no" with pain was hard for him to accept and believe, but he had
to believe it. What other choice was there? Experience taught him to accept this powerful
association. The experience of the pain and the "no" were undeniably real and bonded together.
Everet had to accept that something outside of himself had power over him. It had power to
cause him pain. For Everet this was neither good nor bad; it was just the way things were. His
view of himself and the world, however, was changed forever. He now knew for certain that his
“I want” could be blocked by the world’s “no.”
More time went by. Everet was becoming more aware that everything was bigger, faster and
was happening to him. Everet was becoming a “big boy” and so, he wanted to make things
happen. Making things happen is difficult when you are three feet tall. Big people could tell
him what to do and what not to do. They could pick him up and move him where they wanted
him to be, even if Everet did not want them to. Everet could walk and run but there were
always limits on where and when. Everet could talk, but there were limits on where and when
for that too.
The world outside of Everet’s body was full of things he knew about. He knew daddy,
mommy, and the two dogs. Everet knew his room and when he was hungry. He knew a lot
about the things in his world, but he did not know "who he was in the world."
Everet was very confused. He knew the rules, such as do not throw supper on the floor, and do
not leave the yard. He also knew a foundational pattern in life. That pattern was cause and
effect. If he did this, then that would happen. If he pushed hard on the chair, it fell over and
daddy got mad. If he smiled at daddy, he got picked up and was given a hug.
Moment by moment and day by day, Everet was growing up. Yet, Everet could not figure out
how to stop the persistent confusion. He was Everet and there was the world outside of Everet.
That world was full of things and rules but the separation between him and world was always
there. Everet needed to discover "who he was in the world," if he was to overcome the strange
and persistent separation.
One day, maybe it was Tuesday when he was three or Wednesday when he was five,
Everet put all the pieces together. He had different pieces like himself and the outside world
made up of his parents, dogs, house, bedroom, and rules. He had been collecting these pieces
for a long time. But he was like a blind man trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together using only
touch. Suddenly in an eye opening flash all the pieces that would not fit in a pattern suddenly
did. Everett could not see the whole picture but he finally had the edge pieces and a sense
about what the picture looked like.
Everet, in an unconscious process of gathering all the information he knew about himself and
the world, came to a conclusion. This conclusion made sense to him and it explained
everything. He was, therefore, certain it was true. Everet was absolutely certain that “he was
not good enough.” He did not have to ask someone if it was true, it was self-evident. This
conclusion, that he was not good enough, really did explain how he related to the world. There
was Everet and there was the world and its rules. The edge pieces to the jigsaw puzzle that
would become Everet, now fit together. It would be many years before the entire picture would
be filled in. But eventually whoever he believed himself to be and to some degree, how he
looked was now firmly established. The picture that was Everett would be titled, "Everet is not
good enough." For now, Everett knew how to put the pieces together and he happily went
about the business of organizing his life.
He always had to pay attention to the rules and most of the time he got in trouble when he did
not obey them. Everet knew that when he did something right, mommy was happy; when he
did something wrong, mommy was not.
Everet had figured out a long time ago that he got in trouble for doing the things he wanted to.
There are the ever present rules and Everet, who experiences pain when he does not obey the
rules. His conclusion continued to make sense and feel true. It was self-evident and clear,
Everett was not acceptable to the world; or in his words, “I am not good enough.”
This conclusion felt wonderful to Everet. He now knew, how, "he belonged in the world." The
experience of separation was no longer there. There was the all-powerful world and there was
little Everet who was not good enough. Everet accepted this truth in the same way he accepted
the relationship between no and pain. What alternative did he have? There was no one else in
his mind but himself. This statement of identity was true, it felt certain, and it worked for him
because the confusion was gone. Truly, this was a remarkable day for Everet. The great
mystery of “Who is Everet” was solved.
Everet’s mommy and daddy would never know this day was special. They would never know
that on this day, their son became part of the human family.
If they could have known, they would have been horrified. They had been trying in every way
to teach their son that they loved and accepted him.
The world needs rules if the I that is me is to live successfully in the we that is the world. Rules
and traumas teach each of us that we, in some way, are not good enough, because it seems that
we are always at fault.
The irony is that, his Grandfather, me, the writer of this book, knows that Everet’s negative
conclusional statement of identify will happen and there is nothing that I, like his parents, can
do to stop it.
I know that my grandson will use his conclusional I-am statement to organize his perceptions of
the world and his place in the world. He will use his I-am statement as a foundation on which
he will build a network of beliefs that will support his perception.
This is neither good nor bad. It is necessary. It is how we all learn to live together in society.
Rules and limits are necessary if anyone is to have some measure of freedom and protection.
All I can do as his “Opa,” is to wait for him to grow up and then, when he is ready, teach him
how to get beyond his I-am statement and his network of beliefs. The greatest gift I can give my
grandson and you, the reader, is a process by which he and you can discover who you really are
and always have always been. In other words, the reality is that you exist and are acceptable.
Everet knew and experienced this truth before he encountered the word "no." You and he can
discover this self-evident truth by utilizing the process I teach in this book.
The process of raising a child and enabling him to achieve some measure of success and
happiness inevitably leads to a negative I-am statement. Children raised without rules will be
taught by the society at some point that there are rules that have to be obeyed. These lessons
learned later in life carry a great deal more pain and consequences than in childhood.
I do not believe that society is bad or evil. It just is what it is. Society is a network of rules and
people trying to live together successfully.
I do not believe, that what I perceive the world to be is real any more than I believe that my old I-
am statement is real.
The previous statement may sound strange to you, but this statement is a product of what I
teach. Each of you has a negative I-am statement. It is the foundation on which you have
created your life. Change your negative I-am statement to a positive statement of reality and
you will inevitability be happier and more content. For now you can be skeptical about the
truth of my assertion, but when you finished the book, you will know why I can make such a
strong statement.
Everet is currently ten months old. It will be many years before he is able or willing to
recognize that he views the world from a negative I-am statement. He has many developmental
stages to go through on his journey of awareness.
My assumption, for you, the reader, is that you are ready to explore and possibly take the next
step in the development of your awareness.
Thus, the next step of your journey begins.
| © Copyright 2006 E. Jack Lemon information@addictedtocertainty.com 734-770-4566 |